The Wedding Project
by The Real Schaluh
Summary: Fooling around, no commitment, no kids. The Ministry of Magic faces a whole new problem after Voldemort's destruction. Only this time, they're planning on doing something about it.
1. 00 The Wedding Project

**THE WEDDING PROJECT**

All they do is fooling around – no commitment, no kids. The Ministry of Magic faces a whole new problem after Voldemort's destruction. Only this time, they're planning on doing something about it.

What happens, when the future of the wizarding world is again at stake? This time, mind you, not due to a certain late Lord Voldemort, but because of the mindlessness and carefree lifestyle of the younger generation of our dearest witches and wizards? Well, the ministry just happens to finally grow a pair and sentences everybody to marry either their current partner or a respective person of their liking (meaning gays marry other gays and so forth). Not so bad you say? Well, that's what one bisexual Harry Potter was thinking, right up to the moment he got paired up with Malfoy yet again, only this time they're supposed to work together on something more than a mere potions assignment...

Whose stupid idea was that anyways?

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Sorry you guys, I know this 'chapter' is just the summary, but I've taken a really long break from writing and I just felt like trying again so I'll post this here to ask you if you're interested at all in the story line. I'd really appreciate some feedback and I'll do my best to post the first chapter asap if somebody might actually want to read it lol.

I also want to point out that this is probably not going to be one of those never ending stories because I really suck at keeping up with updates over a longer period of time haha so actually I think this might only be 2-4 chapters but yeah…

Aaaanyhow… I hope you let me know what you think about the general idea and I'll present you with a new chapter soon! Pinky promise! ;)


	2. Announcement

So, this was a really quick update for me and I can already tell you that it won't go on like that. I'm planning on uploading once a week, but I just couldn't bring myself to wait that long after that teasing little summary I posted yesterday so here you go.

Any kind of comment is highly appreciated and please let me know if you think I should get somebody to beta my story. English is not my first language and I'm sure there are some phrases in here that might sound odd to native speakers, so please feel free to correct me anytime.

That said, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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**ANNOUNCEMENT**

Just like any other day, the Great Hall was buzzing with the noise of clattering silverware and the busy chatter of Hogwarts' residents during breakfast. As fate would have it, every single student was present, minding their own business when suddenly the morning mail was delivered by hundreds of owls. Sweets from the parents back home, a loving letter from your grandmother telling you just how much she misses you and hopes to see you soon, various magazines, the Daily Prophet...

"...there's an official announcement from the ministry! Harry, are you listening?"

Hermione Granger was currently trying to get the attention of one of her best friends and failing miserably. She'd given up on Ron a while ago, seeing as he was busy stuffing food into his mouth in record time, but she was kind of disappointed that Harry kept ignoring her.

Said hero didn't hear a word she was saying and preferred to stare at pretty much every butt that made its way into his line of vision. So what if he enjoyed a fine backside? There was nothing wrong with that now, was there? Some of his fellows might have felt a little discomforted by discovering that they were just as turned on by a nice pair of boobs as by a chiseled and completely flat male chest, but Harry Potter was looking at the whole situation with different eyes. Why not enjoy the best of both worlds? The way he saw it, he was the luckiest guy out there. After all, he did get to choose from twice the amount of potential lovers, what more could you possibly wish for?

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

Completely shocked by the pure volume of her voice, Harry finally snapped out of it and turned his head towards Hermione, raising an eyebrow and looking at her expectantly.

"Finally, do you know how many times I tried to get your attention? Harry, you've got to read this! The Ministry of Magic posted an announcement in the Prophet! Wait until everybody's read it, they're going to go ballistic! Not that we didn't have it coming, mind you, but still -"

"Hermione! STOP! What are you even talking about? I didn't get half of what you just said! Wait a second and let me read the article first, will you?" Harry rolled his eyes and snatched the offensive piece of paper out of her hands, before he started reading.

_**THE WEDDING PROJECT**_

_**by Rita Skeeter**_

_**My dear, loyal readers,**_

_**today I have rather disturbing news for you. Fresh from the Minister for Magic's overly expensive desk comes an announcement which might shock you. But see for yourselves...**_

"_**According to the recently passed Social and Domestic Decree Number Thirteen, all witches and wizards between the age of 17 and 30 are to marry either their current partner or another person of their sexual preference.**_

_**Sadly, we were forced to take matters into our own hands after watching the behavior of our world's younger generations resulting in an extreme drop in our birth rates over the last few years. It seems that it has become popular among these generations to simply fool around and not make any commitment to each other whatsoever. This is no longer tolerable if we want to ensure the continuity of our society as it exists right now.**_

_**This new law is effective as of tomorrow morning, when all people affected by it will learn of their future spouse. If you are indeed in a committed relationship right now and wish to marry your partner, please let us know by midnight in order to guarantee your names will be excluded from the draw.**_

_**Of course, we are aware that there are many people out there who are interested in their own sex or don't mind either way, so please let us know so we can make the appropriate arrangements for you.**_

_**We would also like to add that it is rather likely for you to already know your destined spouse if you are still attending school, as we will try to match people who live at least somewhat close to one another. In our opinion this is a vital point especially for our youngest ones affected.**_

_**That said, we hope you will have a nice day and advise us of anything that you might find to be of importance for your drawing.**_

_**Regards,**_

_**Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister for Magic"**_

_**Yes, you read correctly, dear readers. So, what's **__**your take on this new law recently enforced by our dear Ministry of Magic? Please let me know!**_

"...they're joking, right?" Slightly dazed, Harry looked up to find Hermione staring at him, still strangely relaxed if you took into consideration that she had also read the exact same article just a few minutes ago.

"Oh, I don't think they are, Harry. Why would they print an announcement like that just to take it all back later? It doesn't make any sense. As depressing as this might be, I think this is as real as it gets."

"But Hermione, they can't simply marry us off to somebody and expect us to procreate like crazy? I mean seriously, everybody will just divorce their spouses and be done with it. This won't get them anywhere. Only thing they have coming on them is a whole load of paperwork is all... "

Harry shook his head and was just about to finish his breakfast, when he cringed at the high-pitched screech coming out of his best mate's mouth. Apparently, Ronald had finally deemed this morning's issue of the Daily Prophet worthy of reading and already wished he hadn't even bothered.

"They can't do that! Why would they do that? Hermione, please tell me they can't do that..!" And on he went. Leave it to Ron to make a big deal out of it. Not that anybody was particularly happy with this new legal situation, but what were they supposed to do about it? Right, they couldn't do anything.

"Ron, kindly shut up, would you? Do you think we're happy about it? Hell no! But we're in no position to argue. On the one hand we really had it coming, I mean, what they wrote is true! Just look at our classmates! Everybody's screwing everybody and nobody cares about each other enough to form a real relationship that lasts longer than the few hours it takes to fuck them well into the next week. And on the other hand, even if they didn't have a point here, the Ministry has the upper hand, we can't do anything about it. Who knows, maybe it won't be so bad. I mean they will take sexual preferences and all that into account. We might as well meet our perfect match!"

"You can't seriously believe that, Harry! What happened to 'they can't simply marry us off to somebody'?" Hermione glared at him mockingly.

"Well, I thought about it and even though I really think the whole thing's a bit drastic, I don't see what harm it will do. They won't break up any couple that actually managed to form a monogamous committed relationship and everybody else is free anyway. I would be a hypocrite if I said I didn't like to look at more than one pretty butt around here but hey, I think I could try to confine myself to a single one. So long as it's a nice one." Harry winked at his two best friends and burst out laughing at the look on their faces before he turned back to his breakfast.

"Whatever mate, I'm not okay with that. There must be something we can do about it!"

"Ron, I hate to break it to you, but I guess Harry's right about it. I like it just as little as you do but we'll just have to wait and see. The only thing you could actually do is find somebody you've supposedly been dating and tell them you want to marry that person."

"But Hermione! I don't want to marry some random girl! If I wanted to, I would've at least taken her out on a date, for Merlin's sake!"

"I know Ron, but there's really nothing else you can do..." Hermione sighed and darted a pointed look at Harry.

"How can you two be so blasé about that...?" Some squeaking and shuffling of chair legs across stony floors later Ron was on his way out of the Great Hall to only Gryffindor knows where.

"So are you going to write to the ministry?"

"Why would I? I'm not in a relationship and I'm neither a lesbian nor bisexual..." Hermione sent him a confused look which clearly was meant to ask _What are you getting at?_

"Well, I was just wondering. I don't think the only people writing them will be the ones who actually do have a partner. Wouldn't you prefer choosing your spouse as opposed to being matched through some kind of drawing? What is this? Some kind of sick fair? First prize gets a honeymoon thrown in on top of a happily ever after marriage and a bunch of kids?"

Even though Harry didn't mind the whole thing that much, he was still kind of worked up about the sheer nerve of the Ministry.

"No, probably not. But I actually couldn't think about a single guy I'd _like_ to marry, so I'll just take my chances and hope it won't turn out to be a complete disaster. Shouldn't be too bad as long as it's not Grabbe or Goyle. But some birdie tells me they will be one of those people writing to the ministry anyways, so I think I'll be safe." She shot him a knowing smile and couldn't help winking at him slyly.

"What?" Harry spluttered and nearly managed to knock over a jar of pumpkin juice still filled to the brim. "Please don't tell me they're gay? This isn't happening... This _can't_ be happening... No!"

Completely lost in his miserable ranting he missed Hermione's eyebrows shooting up way too high as well as the bemused look she cast his way.

"Are you saying you'll be writing to the Ministry then, dearest Harry?" She couldn't help the teasing tone in her voice and that didn't go unnoticed by Harry.

"Yeah, alright you got me. But didn't you honestly have that one figured out for some time now? I mean come on, it's not as if I make a big secret out of it. So what if I do like girls as well as guys? There's nothing wrong with that. And I get the bigger selection. Ha! What do you say now?"

He provided quite the sight and more than one head was turned in his direction with some more or less puzzled looks on their faces. Finally realizing that he was risking his neck with careless talk, Harry shut his mouth and turned bright red.

For a few seconds it was deadly silent in the Great Hall. Some of the more baffled people kept blinking vigorously as if trying to clear up the picture before their very eyes, before somebody chuckled and soon almost everybody was laughing at the expense of their great savior.

"Great, just fucking awesome..." Harry was mumbling away to himself and dared to look up at his classmates.

"Oh cheer up! I really think you got off lightly. Everybody's already had their fair share of shock today, there's only so much you could add to that. And anyways, I reckon nobody cares that much after all."

"Ah well, you might be right about that. Still, not exactly how I planned to come out..."

"Guess not. But it could have been a lot worse. Ron could've been here. Oh, that's great! _You_ can tell him all about it yourself. Now, how does that sound? Fun, right?" The teasing tone was back in Hermione's voice and once again Harry found himself worrying over the constant flashes of Slytherin-ness from his best friend.

Maybe he wasn't the only snake in lion's clothing after all.

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_To be continued..._


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